Oh, Snap!

I keep being surprised by parenting, arriving at stages and challenges that I though I didn't have to worry about quite yet.

This afternoon D and I had been playing outside, and then he came in and started asking for a snack. We went to his high chair, and that's when I realized that the crayons he'd been using earlier were still spread out all over the floor.  So I said, "Hey D, come help Mommy pick up the crayons." He said no. Usually he's pretty good about pitching in to help me pick something up.  I don't normally do this, but I then said, "Please come help mommy, and then you can have a snack.  No snack till after the crayons are picked up."  He again said no, and then sat in his chair looking at me for a minute.  I guess he was trying to figure out if I was serious or not.  And then I guess he decided I was, so he got back down off the chair and said, "Go play outside again."

As in, "Fine. If I can't have my snack, then I'm just gonna stay hungry and instead go keep playing. I'm certainly not helping pick up the crayons."

I looked at him and actually said, "Are you kidding me?"  It was such a clear act of defiance.  And then I was stuck... what do I do? I laid down an ultimatum, so I couldn't budge.  But I also clearly couldn't force him to do anything.

I ended up letting him play by himself in the patio, deciding to kind of ignore him for now, and about 10 minutes later he asked to go on a walk in his push car. I told him we could go after we picked up the crayons, and that time he came right away and helped me pick them all up.  So I suppose I "won" in the end, but I got totally blindsided by that power struggle.

***

So tomorrow morning we're leaving for a 4-day trip to Yosemite.  I'm super excited, as I think this will be really fun-- hopefully D's first time to play in snow, and also just a fun family vacation out in nature (we're not camping, not brave enough to try that yet).  However, this trip seriously snuck up on me and I have not planned for it at all, and so while I managed to get some packing/organizing done today, Zach and I have much work to do tonight in order to get ready.  We're hoping to leave by about 9am tomorrow. I'll be impressed if we manage to stick anywhere close to that...

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Wordless Wednesday: Dandy

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Mornings with Pam

It's been a couple of weeks now since D started going to Mrs Pam's home 2 mornings a week, and it's going pretty well so far.  Most of the time when I ask him if he likes going to her house, he smiles and says yes.  He'll cry when I leave, but lets her pick him up to wave at me through the window and overall seems very comfortable with her.  It appears he has a good time while he's there, and he's always very happy when I get back and likes to show me some of what he did (while also being quite ready to high-tail it out of there and go back home... lol).

Yesterday morning I was getting us ready to go, and D seemed a bit less enthusiastic.  I asked if he was excited about going to Mrs Pam's, and he said, "No. Stay at Donovan's house?"  He seemed a little out of sorts so I sat down with him a minute and talked about how it must feel sad when mommy leaves, but that I will always come back, and then we'll come back home to Donovan's house afterwards.  He didn't really react to this, but I like to think it sank in a little.  He didn't put up too much of a fight on the way over, and then once inside I could see his little face starting to contort into a cry as he realized what was going to happen... but then he stopped. His lower lip quivered, even as he waved me good-bye, but he didn't cry.

And it's moments like those that tug at my heart because he seems so grown up.  It takes a lot of emotional maturity to say to yourself, "I'm really sad right now, but I'm not going to cry because I know it's going to be ok," and that seemed like exactly what he was thinking.

When I picked him up again a few hours later, I was impressed by two things:

1) He took his jacket off all by himself, for the first time ever.  They had just gotten back from a walk literally minutes before I came to the door, so Pam said he'd still had his jacket on, zipped up and everything, when she came to open the door for me.   Not 2 minutes later when I saw him he had the jacket off, and said to me, "Donovan take jacket off." I saw him do it again later that day, too.  Very cool stuff.

2) Pam said she had let him use a pair of scissors to cut around a piece of paper, and that she'd been very impressed with how well he handled them and how concentrated he was making his small cuts.  She asked if he'd used scissors at home-- no, never. I'd never thought of it, so we don't even have a pair of child-sized scissors yet.  I'd figured he was too young to try it... but I guess not.

If Zach hasn't found a job by the time his notice runs out and the severance kicks in, then we'll cut out D's mornings at Mrs Pam's.  But for now we'll keep it up, partially because her rates are incredibly reasonable; partially for the break it gives me; and partially because of the lesson I learned yesterday with the scissors.  Being in that different environment, with a different adult, means he's getting exposed to different things I wouldn't have thought of, and I think that's a wonderful thing and a great lesson to him (and me) of how much wider his world can be and the breadth of his abilities.

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Charity Auction to Raise Money for Chile

Last week I was contacted by Heather Gardner who writes the blog Fire and Ice, showcasing reviews of books, music, photography, and jewelry.  Having lived in Chile for a year and a half, she decided to put together a silent auction on her site to benefit the victims of the recent earthquake in Chile, and asked if I would consider donating items for her auction.

Of course, I was delighted to help out. =)

There are two ways you can participate:

1. Visit her Fire and Ice Facebook Fan Page, where you can leave bids for items up for auction. The way you bid is you leave a comment on the post with the item you wish to bid on, which means you have to "fan" her site first (which you can un-do later, if you wish... or keep it, as she does lots of other giveaways that might be interesting to know of).  My items are the set of 4 photo cards featuring 4 photographs from Viña del Mar, and a choice of 8x10 photo print from my chanchitos set on flickr.  There will probably be additional items from other donors added over the coming week, as well.

2. Visit her Fire and Ice blog to enter a special give-away of the photo cards set and 8x10 print (and others, added throughout the week).  See giveaway posts for details on how to enter.

I hope y'all will considering participating, and let me know if you have any questions.  Thanks!

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